A Calculated Retreat or a Leap Towards the Unknown

I'm at a crossroad, not knowing what the future holds yet desperately trying to act as if nothing can faze me.

Settling in a different country has its own pros and cons. Depending on the timing, it can become a blessed turn of events or a regretful decision. Apparently, I am stuck at the middle. On the one hand, my age gives me ample time to experience life at a country that have more opportunities. Yet on the other, my accomplishments are not recognized. Which means either I wasted years of my life which will simply occupy 2 lines in my resume or I put all hope into thinking that somewhere in this first-world country, a chance will magically create a chance to show what I got.

Of course the most obvious choice is the one that moves towards the future, and yet the biggest hindrance would not be the deficiencies but the fear of failing. Oh kakorrhaphiophobia, why do you have to exist?

I guess I'm just afraid to pin all hope into a single course of action and see myself fail. In my life, either I get what I wanted or I don't hope that much. Disappointment is a hard feeling to get over. I've never been heart broken so I have no comparison.

Sooner or later, I need to face the truth, swallow my fear and just jump. Regardless of what is the outcome, whether it be spikes and swords of a comfy foam. But as of now, I'm still sheltering my fear.

PS: Living in a country with cold climate combined with cloudy weather and dark skies does not help.

A Methaphorical Circumcision

It has been a while since I had the time or the energy to post something new. I been living in a colder country for at least a month now. Somehow, I still haven't get it together. It was my hope that a new environment would, in one way or the other, stir up my inner bum and push me away from the soft and warm embrace of my bed. Still nothing...

Like the rest of the cultured humans, I also wanted most, if not all, of the normal things bachelors dreams of. A grumpy old boss, friends with which you can bitch about your boss, and a love that awaits you after a 10-hour meeting with old grumpy.

In 4 days, I will be interviewed for a job that I am assured to get. The details are irrelevant, but know this, it will mark the day of my adulthood. I never actually considered myself an adult. Let us just say, my parents, never treated me as such but come Sept 22, this boy will be metaphorically circumcised.

So, back to the present, I have no concrete plan as of now. Although it is crystal clear what things should I do: Job1, Job2, and Study. There is no specific time frame as of now. However, ideally, at least one job is a full time job in my chosen field, a part time job that address my weaknesses, while getting my grad degree.

Easier said than done. I know. Just regularly waking up before 8 is a great tribulation, how much more doing 3 things that requires 100% of one's effort. There is a big possibility that I won't be able to do all these things. But hey, if I'm going to set my goals, I'm going to put it way up there.

PS: Best wishes to my cousin who just got married last Sept 9.

Small and Seemingly Unimportant Events

In less than two weeks, I will be leaving what I considered home for the past 20+ years. As I start packing my things into bags and boxes, small and seemingly unimportant events keep flashing on my mind. I remembered how I spent the entire afternoon living in a fantasy world with my Lego, or my first set of Magic the Gathering cards. Just holding my high school year book brings back the 1-hour-before-test reviews. Even the books that I bought but was seldom used. Nostalgia is a powerful feeling.

It took more than an hour to pack just one box. When I was born, I only have one thing: my birth certificate. As time goes by, I seem to accumulate more and more things. Some may be regarded as strict requirements in life, like educational certificates and work permits while others are just plain trash. Now, I am cluttered with things I can do without yet chooses not to discard.

While writing this post, I realized that I never thought about the big events in my life. Graduations and birthdays were nonexistent during my reminiscing moments. This came as a surprise knowing that humans tend to focus on bigger and grander events. I have this tendency of defining people based on their great accomplishments. Now I know I am wrong.

Life is not just about the awards or the books, or the toys. Nor is it about birthdays, graduations or wedding ceremony/ies. Life is composed of small and seemingly unimportant events that happens unconsciously. A digital image is made up of hundreds and thousands of pixels. Individually, these pixels can be created without changing the overall impression of the image and yet these small dots define who we are.

Pixlyfing, creating a digital image of life one pixel at a time. A made up word that is appropriate for this post. It is a life long process that involves time, patience, a fast system and a big memory.

It is not an easy task considering how imperfect humans are. Some pixels may not come out as planned but eventually, as youth turns to maturity, when a higher perspective is reach, a beautiful picture will be painted.

PS: But right now, I'm still pissed at some of my pixels.

The Anonymous and the Famous

The reason I started this blog in the first place is to write anything and everything that I think and feel without worrying about what people, who knows me, would think. And instead of keeping a journal, I opted to utilize 21st century technology.

A couple of days ago, I fed the RSS feed of this blog into my newly created Facebook account. Now, this totally defeats my initial purpose. It took about a week to finally sever the link bridging my no-holds-bar world into my present reality. During those times, I merely privitized my notes, and deleted any notification Facebook publish. The reason it took me that long can be attributed to the sudden connection to long friends and different addictive games.

And just to be sure that whatever I write here will not automatically show up on my Facebook account, I wrote this post.

Graduation Day

Finally, after long years of coffee-enhanced consciousness and drenching on stress of school requirements and examinations, I'm finally finished. Today was my graduation. At first, I plan on treating the supposedly overrated occasion just like any other day. For someone who avoids celebrating one's birthday, this should be easy. Besides, I felt neither a small ounce of joy nor and shred of satisfaction I graduated from high school.

But I felt obligated to involve myself. For one thing, my parents, particularly my mom, wanted me to go. Probably, the reason why she is adamant about this is because she was not able to join her graduation. She always say that it is part of the college experience. It will be a big lost on my part, something that I may never get back. My I-don't-give-a-damn facade will be put to another test.




Along the ceremony, I somehow felt the graduation spirit enveloping me, gradually turning me into a cap-throwing graduate. I do not know what or who caused it; perhaps it was the speech of one of the graduates, the mere fact that my family is watching me, or just the environment I was in. The bottom line, I feel overjoyed.

As I write this, I continually have flashes of my college years like the first time I failed an exam to my first 4.0 grade. It has been a fun and fulfilling experience.

What Constitute a Home?

The plan of starting over at another country remained a mere idea until the actual Visa was delivered right at our doorstep.

I don't know what to feel. Although I do miss my mom, I will be leaving what has been my home for all my life. The extreme heat, air-polluting public vehicles and the flooding streets are a part of who I am. Although I do pride myself of adapting quickly to any situation, I never intentionally jump into the water unless on extremely unavoidable circumstances - and migrating is one of them.

While typing the list of the things that we will be bringing when we migrate, the thought of leaving home struck me and I felt great trepidation. Where will we live? What kind of people will I meet? Will I get a job? What’s with the cold weather? I guess these questions are silently residing on my mind, undetected, and nobody seems to know the answer.

What I do fear the most is being put in a place filled with strangers and peculiar surroundings. But I had a realization…well sort of like an unanswered question or an unfinished train of thought that may have temporarily quelled a big chunk of my panicking mind:

What constitutes a home?

Although the answer to this question is quite obvious to most people; realizing it and more importantly believing it is another story. And to some, who can compartmentalize logic and emotion, it presents quite a challenge.

Putting what I feel and/or what I am not feeling on a virtual paper helps calm my nerves but only for a couple of minutes. And for the next couple of days, I will experience all colors of emotions, a roller coaster ride filled with peaks of happiness and valleys of dread. By the time the ride ends, I know for a fact that I will be feeling much better, but vomiting isn’t quite an experience to cherish.

The Inevitability of Growing Up

It has been a really long time since I went back and visited my pediatrician. Aside from the known fact that I am more than 20 years old and at some point, a man has to graduate from "baby doctors", her clinic is at the far end of what seems to be the most crowded region in my country.

I am kind of excited to see how she was doing. As I was sitting in her clinic, waiting for my turn to be called, memories came rushing in. I remember waking up on a beautiful Saturday morning only to find out I have to have my shots that day. This usually ruins my entire day. The supposedly great day reserved for play and leisure transforms into a gloomy morning of anxiety and complete terror.

Commuting from our house to her clinic takes at least 1.5 hours without considering traffic congestion. For a kid who knows he would experience a world of pain, 1.5 hours flies by so fast. My heart would beat faster and harder as we come close to our destination.

Her clinic is situated on the 2nd floor of an old building. After climbing the stairs, I would always be surprised by the seemingly endless hallway with countless opened doors. Beside these doors and different beautiful engravings of the doctors name and their specialization. Just in front of each door are several benches that seems to be as old as the building itself.

I remember thinking that each clinic appeals to a certain group of people. There is a clinic for women with enormous bellies and a clinic for very people. However, one thing is always constant - kids. It seemed that regardless of which door I look, there are always kids just like me.

When we enter her clinic, we are immediately welcomed by the doctor's secretary. I can not seem to remember much about her but I do know she always gives me a flavored tongue depressors. By this time, my heart is pounding harder and louder, my knees is a little numb, and I can not think imagine straight. Me and my mom, together with one or two patients who arrived earlier than us, will sit in silence.

Then, the next thing I know, we are next. My mom and the doctor would talk for a few minutes then just like instinct, I follow the doctor's command. Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out...A tradition passed on from one pediatrician generation to the next. Then, the most terrifying moment in my life yet, the needle.

As the doctor counts from one to three, I would shut my eyes, tightly hold my mom's hands and stiffen my arms. Ouch! Grown ups always liken getting vaccinated to being bitten by an ant. To those people I say, "bite me"!

Looking back, I realized how I have grown. Whenever I would see someone moving out from their parent's house, getting married or simply making his own pot of coffee, I would be reminded that life matures. It is a force that expands and even though it can be delayed, it can never be contained.

Oh, the inevitability of growing up.The things I have learned, the things I have experience, and the things I regret (not) doing all becomes a part of the growing process and I still have a lot to go through. Anything and everything can cause or delay maturity. It's up to us to decide how this will affect our lives.

Goodbye MJ

Aside from the thousands music files on my PC, there are 5 mp3's located at my desktop for easy access. I play them whenever I just feel like playing a song over and over again. She is Love by Parachute, Manhattan from the Sky by Kate Voegele, The Red Pill by JabbaWockeeZ, and 2 versions of Human Nature by Craig David and Michael Jackson. I never miss a day without playing these 5 songs.

His demise is a big loss to the music industry. It's saddening to think that his life as a gifted and creative artist is sometimes buried by controversies

His powerful songs that inspire and help millions of listener will never be forgotten. His legacy lives on. He will surely be missed...

Goodbye...

Who are you...9.75?

Tonight, I sat beside the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life. I only saw half of her face and for about a second, but I am 100% certain that she is definitely a 9.75. Actually she is the first the 9.75 ever. In order to fully appreciate 9.75 and what it means exactly, I should talk about an old habit.

When I was in college, I used to quantify a girl's genetic gift by a number ranging from 5 - 10 with 0.5 increments (5.5, 6.0, 6.5,... etc). I know it is utterly immature, borderline pathetic, and plain stupid but one cannot deny it brilliance in its simplicity to denote how hot/gorgeous/beautiful/cute a girl is. I know most guys in one point of their life did something like this. I have no excuse for my lack of respect but I cannot deny the fact that I was in college, experiencing overflowing hormones, in a university full of genetically gifted people. And with the apparent sense of freedom, who would not do it?

However I am govern by three simple rules. These are my personal rules on judging beauty by its skin:

• The score is affected only by its physical appearance.
Thick make-ups, sense of humor or the size of a wallet must NEVER be considered.


• The girl must either be a stranger or someone I do not know personally.
  
This is to maintain the highest standard of objectivity. Knowing a person, establishing a connection or forming a relationship, would result in a bias score.


• I must see the girl in person.
For obvious reason, I am suppose to quantify natural physical beauty and not how good someone is at Photoshop.

• The total "stare time" should be at least 5 seconds.
This time is essential to study the face, how big the eyes, how small the lips, shape of the face, size of the cheek bone, etc.

To this day, I have given just 17 9.5's. These are the girls that I can dig up from my memory.

• A classmate in high school.
• We were both freshmen, same college (Engineering) different degree. I just saw her from afar.
• My classmate in philosophy. She always sits 2 rows in front of me.
  
• A girl I saw at a computer cafe with her boyfriend.
• My classmate in Filipino.
  
• College, same year but different degree. She's an ECE student, tall and fair.
  
• Two girls walking at The Atrium, a mall at Singapore. I refer to them as "Blue" and "Circle" because the one was wearing a blue dress and the other one was wearing a dress with big circle print.
• A girl at sitting on an MRT train at Singapore. Probably an Art student because she alighted on a station that is near an Art College.
  

Why not give a perfect 10? Well, because I'm reserving that to my future wife. It would be awesome to tell my future wife, "Hey hon, I've seen hundreds and thousands of girls and yet you're the only 10.0 in my life". High five future me!

So going back, the million dollar question, who are you 9.75? (In order for me not to forget her, I would write my thoughts in an uninterrupted, unfiltered, and most probably full of grammatically errors.). It is Wednesday, June 24, 2009, around 1815-1845. She was sitting beside me at a shuttle at Makati, the one below the parking garage. She took the Bicutan shuttle. I can sense that she was tall, feel her super straight, needle-like waist-length, dyed brown hair. The shuttle seat was like that of a jeepney, I was sitting at the right side, the side on the driver and she was sitting at my right. Therefore, I cannot look at her without experiencing a certain degree of awkwardness. I tried to be cool by not looking. She had 2 bulky bags yet small enough to place on her lap. We were stuck at traffic even at Skyway. During that traffic jam, she was occasionally texting. I got a glimpse of her cellphone, enough to deduce that the couple on the phone's wallpaper was she and her boyfriend but not enought to get a good look at her face. During the almost 1 hour drive/traffic jam, she this sort of popping noise with her mouth. The kind where one bites his or her lips and suddenly pulling them out. She also played a song from her phone. I don't know the song. But I can remember it was a recent song sang by a guy with the word obsession on it. We were nearing SM Bicutan, my stop, I now have a reason to face towards her direction. Then I saw her face, a face like an angel or a supermodel. From what I can see, she was wearing a pair of runners, a pants that looks like a jogging pants and a simple solid colored shirt. When we alighted, I had a better look at her back. It was indeed some sort of jogging pants, the her shirt is not something a normal Makati employee wears. Adding the fact that one of the big bags she was carrying probably carries her change of clothes, there is a big possibility she just went to a gym. She pulled out her umbrella because it was drizzling. From there, there are two ways she could go, through the back entrance of the mall or towards the tricycles. So I thought to myself, regardless of where she was going, I'm gonna follow her. This will be the first time that I will do this. I have never altered my course because of a stranger. I am guilty of varying my walking speed because of a beautiful girl but never my course. Then fate played a trick on me. She did not enter the mall nor walked towards the tricycle. She headed for the parking lot on the back of the mall which is beside the back entrance. I was not prepared for this. So I just let it go, but changed my mind once inside the mall. I figured with the direction she is going, if I went and waited for 5 minutes at the other mall entrance, she might show up and then I can finally have a good look at her face. But no 9.75. From there I can deduce 2 possibilities. One, she parked her car at SM and she went home, two, she rode a jeep either going north (Sun Valley, Merville?) or sourth (Marcelo?). *Train of thought finish*

Just yesterday I was re-watching How I Met Your Mother and I remembered Ted's cheesy line, "...the beauty of a moment is that it's fleeting. By its very nature, it slips through our fingers making it that much more precious."(S1 Ep. Zip, zip, zip). Now she will remain a mystery, a perfect moment sealed by a blog post in Cyber land.

This post is a note-to-self sort of post. It's a way to immortalize a momentous occasion in my life, or at the very least, a suppose to be unforgettable moment. By putting it here, someday, somewhere by invoking the accumulation of good karma, I would see this girl again.

A very very...very long word?

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a certain lung disease...

Floccinaucinihilipilification is the act of describing something worthless...

Antidisestablishmentarianism is some sort of political position...

...and Titin is just a big practical joke by the scientific community.

Although I could put its chemical name here, it would be moronic move for my part. For starters, having 189,819 characters, its not exactly a readable post. I tried "copy-pasting" it to MS word and the name occupied 79 pages. That length is comparable to an engineering thesis documentation I copied from a friend.

I can only imagine what happened at the lab that day.

It was a triumphant day for a group of scientist from University of Hoocares who, after years of intensive research, has finally identified the largest known protein yet. Wearing his worn down lab gown and dusty glasses, Dr. X, the research head, said that "...the identification of the protein Titin can help scientific and medical research of muscle dystrophy." The protein, popularly called Titin, is somehow related to muscles. However whats more interesting is its chemical name. When asked about the protein's chemical name, Dr. X simply replied, "The original name is suppose to be Methionylthreony but in my personal opinion, the simplicity of the name does not represent the gravity of the discovery. Then I said to myself, it would be really really cool to have a very very long chemical name. So, with the help of my 3 year old daughter, we sat in front of a computer until supper and totally reinvented the name. It was an awesome experience"

Indeed, they added just a few characters. And the finish product, a freaking 189,819 letter chemical name.

Now, I know they would not name something that long without a good reason and I bet its a pretty good one too. But just imagine how long before they were able to type that.

Oh and what about proof reading. Surely it was a more evil bitch.

By the way, Titin's chemical name can be found here.

The Day I Got My Driver's License

Today, I finally got my Philippine driver's license. It took me exactly 9 hrs and 7 minutes of waiting in queues, daydreaming on Neverland and actualyl sleeping on squeaky benches. Heres what happened:

5:00 AM: Arrived at LTO Office. The morning was dark, the gates closed, the building quiet and deserted.

5:26 AM: The second applicant arrived. Now the place is a little less creepy.

5:34 AM: Our Help arrived. She asked me to follow her and fill out two identical forms. This used to simultaneously queue me to both medical check-up and drug testing.

The Help helped us at the actual processing. What I did was paying the Help a little extra to speed up the processing of my papers. It is tantamount to an express processing of papers; you pay a little more to get want you want faster (oh, and one less step). Lets just say its an unofficial and unspecified type of LTO service.

Before continuing, it is necessary to tell you that technically the first step in getting a Philippine Driver's License is being given the application form. However, in actuality, in order to get one, the applicant needs a completed medical check-up as well as a drug test. I'd like to point out I have neither. Moving on...

6:04 AM: Exactly 8 applicants on queue to get their application form. The sun is up at last.

6:17 AM: 20 applicants.

Now I'm indicating the number of applicants because for the written part of the exam, they will only take 30 for each batch, and on a normal day, the first batch usually get their license before lunch.

6:34 AM: Medical check-up. For Php 100.00, the doctor took my height and weight and asked me to read a series of letters approx. 1 cm big about 5 feet away. Reading the letters; totally nailed it!

7:XX AM: (I didn't got the exact time :P) The queue for receiving the application form started to move and I still haven't finish drug testing. So me being the first applicant was all for naught.

8:14 AM: Finally finished my drug test. For Php 300.00, I filled up a form, peed on a cup, digitally took my fingerprints and sign. Being sleepy and all, I kinda missed on the cup a few times. Not a big splash, more of a sprinkle on my fingers. The thing is, the sink is outside the rest room so all people who did their drug test there most probably have turn the door knob using their urine enriched hands.

8:21 AM: Finally got my application form.

Now, the next step is another queue. This time a guard will give you a number. This will be for the written exam. Lucky for me, because of the Help, I was automatically give a number...14.

Now I don't know if I'm just unlucky but LTO's network was offline. Therefore, all processing was stopped we had to wait, indefinitely, until the internet connection is fixed. Damn PLDT!

9:22 AM: Finally online! The pain continues...

9:22 - 10:XX AM: A series of step. On Window 1 (I forgot what is this for) I gave my application form, on Window 3(Photosig), they took my picture and digital signature, and on Window 11(Cashier), paid Php 167.63. I don't know what was that for but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the written test.

10:2X AM: LTO Lecture. Now there wasn't any lecture. The person simply gave us reviewers and specifically told us to review traffic signs. But if you look around, road signs literally glued on the wall.

10:4X AM: Started the test. The exam is a multiple choice, 40 item test. The first 30 are about road knowledge while the last 10 are about traffic signs. Everything is in Tagalog. The questions are easy. Even if I didn't study I would have passed the test. Each item has 3 choices and an average person get eliminate at least on wrong choice. For instance, if you were asked "How should you look at your side mirrors", the choice "Whenever I want" is clearly wrong. However when I took mine, the questionnaire, although newly printed has some weird, light, pencil checks on one of the choice for each number. What do you think was that for? *wink*.

10:5X AM: Finished the test.

Now there is supposed to be another step here, the practical driving test but because of the Help, I skipped it. Hooray for the Help. Now just to be fair, I know how to drive an automatic car, but their test vehicles are manual.

11:06 AM: Waiting in front of Window 11 (Cashier) to pay for my license.

11:41 AM: Still no name call. Worrying that I might have to wait through their lunch break.

11:59 AM: Lunch break. Crap! Crap!! Crap!!!

12:47 PM: They resumed their work. Now I was amazed that they didn't milked their 1hr lunch break.

Around 1:XX, my application is now on Window 11 (Cashier). Since the payment the Help received includes the actual license fee, they didn't even call my name. They processed my papers first and finally...

2:07 PM: My name was called on Window 12 (Releasing). And I got my shiny license.

TV Hiatuses

Its been weeks now since the last time I had a satisfying TV night. Technically, it is more appropriate to call it a Series Night since I'm not watching it on a television but thats not important. So, my Series Night would include dinner in front of new episodes of at least 2 shows. In some days (Monday US time, yehey) the series that I watched can reach up to 12. As far as my memory goes, the following shows, at some point aired on a Monday:

• Heroes
• Prison Break
• 24
  
• One Tree Hill
• How I Met Your Mother
  
• Stargate Atlantis
• Greek
• How I Met your Mother
• Gossip Girl
• Chuck
• Kyle XY
• Terminator Sarah Connor Chronicles

Those are the glory days. Of course shows like Kyle XY, Stargate Atlantis and Prison Break have met their abrupt, in-a-way and planned ending respectively but most of these shows are still breathing. I remember getting excited to wake up on a Philippine Tuesday mid morning aka US primetime, set up my "stuff", go to school and come back to a 12x40++ mins of pure bliss.

But, like all things oil-consuming, it will need refueling, or in this case a hiatus. It does seem reasonable for good shows to take a breather, recharge and come back with a totally different kick. But it would be nice for good shows to be replaced by a show of equal or at most a level below the aforementioned. Ah, if only the perfect world exists...

Now, all I can do is wait. Having the patience to sit through hours of reruns and bad television until the infamous hiatus is over and that momentous occasion where all shows would eventually sprout, gradually filling my empty void and satisfying the dire need for a (TV) high...and yes I'm currently watching Weed.

PS: Weed is not that bad. Although the opening song is terrible and annoying.

Earth 2100

"What is precious? This earth of ours, this garden we must tend, these people we love."

-Lucy

I recently watched a documentary entitled Earth 2100 broadcasted on ABC. The show tackles the many possible challenges the world will face if people do nothing to counter climate change.

It follows the life of Lucy, a fictional character who lived through the worst outcome what the world will become. She lived through what experts in different fields of science and engineering say about a possible doomsday future for the world.


The documentary approaches the issue of climate change in a different way. By addressing the "What will" rather than the "What is", it inspires more people especially reactive people (those that wait for something terrible to happen before acting) just like me. It combines the elements of story telling, vivid images and graphics, with informative interviews from scientists and world expert.

I have seen several documentary, read a couple of articles and even sit through hours of talk about the earth and its future. Some entertaining, some just seems like repetitions, while other just focuses on educating. This tv special is one of a kind. Aside from Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth, this documentary, Earth 2100, not only informs and entertains, but above all inspires.


PS: During the last few minutes of Al Gore's An Incovenient Truth, I got bored and ultimately stopped watching. I had to re-watch the entire thing. With Earth 2100, there are no dull moments.

Philippine National Anthem by Martin Nievera

Last May 4, 2009, Manny Pacquiao murdered Ricky Hatton in just 2 Rounds. I'm a little bit disappointed because of how brief the bout was. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad Manny won. But do you know the next worst thing after a Pacman-defeat? Yup, an early win. At least the Pacman could have played with the Hitman a little bit, just to give the audience their money's worth. Maybe softer jabs, intentional misses, and probably a little nibble to the ear.

Anyways, congrats Manny! Now give me back my money!

But enough about that. This is about how the National Anthem was sung by Martin Nievera.

Martin Nievera singing Bayang Magiliw. Ay Lupang Hinirang pala.
(Not my video. Giving credit where credit is due.)

WTF!

The arrangement was awful. It was reminiscent to a nursery rhyme being played in a piano by a one-fingered toddler. It could have been a very intimate rendition of a supposed march song. It’s simplistic nature coupled by the crystal clear pronunciation and strong melodic voice of the singer can easily entice patriotism and the desire to buy Filipino souvenirs. They tried…

But they tried too hard. There is such a thing as too much. As mellow tempo changed into a out-of-tune rock ballad, so does the flaming fire of burning embers within each and every Filipino turned into a disgraceful coffee (at work) / commercial (at home) / bathroom (at Vegas) break. The arrangement was horrendous; musical instruments were all over the place. Is it just me or was the beat doesn’t follow itself? I bet when they recorded the musical accompaniment, the conductor or say musical producer had to answer the call of nature multiple times…and he reaped what he sowed.

I do not have much to say to Martin Nievera. I can’t say that he a commendable job, nor can I consider it good enough. First, anyone who knew that Martin makes (artistic?) faces while singing will not be bothered by it. However, when the world is watching, toning down would be better. Then again maybe it is merely an unconscious reaction to musical noise. Second, what was the slur all about (line: Buhay ay langit sa piling mo)? When I heard it, I felt a balloon was blown within my lungs and permanently lodge there full inflated. The slur came as a surprise and like most surprises, all brands of pork rinds and a lack of certain strenuous exercises (if you know what I mean), leads to heart attack. And lastly, cherry on top, which happens to be as big as the cake…the final note. It reminds me of Jen Bautista’s last note slip. It was completely unnecessary and totally awkward. A song is supposed to ascend the audience emotional state gradually. But that note, with no regard for gravity or the law of acceleration, just bolted itself in leaving the viewers just sitting in their asses completely humiliated.

The national anthem was once again butchered. Good thing Manny served steak.

Using Eclipse with Subversion

I finally decided to set-up my previously-configured-solely-for-thesis laptop to include any software application projects that I may undertake. The first thing I did was to configure my favorite Java IDE, Eclipse, to work with a familiar version control system, Subversion. These are the steps I took.

1. Download Eclipse IDE: www.eclipse.org/downloads. In my case, I downloaded Eclipse Ganymede. The downloaded application is in zip file. All I did was to extract the contents on my desired location.

2. I also decided to set-up a local repository for my future projects. I chose Subversion (for more info, visit www.subversion.tigris.org). I downloaded and installed Subversion 1.4.5 into my laptop.

3. Once Subversion was installed, I created a new repository location.


4. I made sure that I have Subclipse plug-in. This is a plug-in for Eclipse that will enable it to use Subversion. It can be installed in two ways, first is by automatically downloading the plug-in using Eclipse’s Software Update (Help->Software Update) and searching through the database. Another method is to manually download the necessary Executable Jar Files and putting it on the plugins folder under eclipse. Luckily, after searching through my old files, I was able to retrieve the .jar files I needed. After doing any of the two methods, Eclipse needs to be restarted.

4b. For SpringSource Tool Suit (STS), Open STS Dashboard > Go to Extensions > Look for Subeclipse, check the checkbox and click install (If you don't see it, it implies it is already installed)


5. On Eclipse, I opened the SVN Repository Exploring Perspective(Window->Open Perspective->Other)


6. Two tabbed windows appeared(SVN Repository and SVN Annotate). On SVN Repository, right click->New->Repository Location-> typed file:///e:/svn/eclipse_backup on the text box->click Finish.


7. If done correctly, the SVN Repository will have a new entry as seen below.


 9. Right click on the new repo location and select "Checkout". This will give you a local copy that you can then commit to the repo.

Big change

Just a few days ago, I found out that the processing of our permanent residency papers was completed. This means that in a few short months, the family will start a new life.

The biggest change I ever had to go through was the transition between high school and college. So just imagine what I'm feeling right now. The secondary-tertiary educational transition does not even come close to the change brought about by immigration. Just the idea of starting anew scares me to death. But I guess sometimes the line between what is comfortable and being in a rot seems to blur and once in a while change simply redraws the line. Adapting to a new ecosystem requires massive amount of work but, as human beings, we are born lazy. Once the sleep-eat-burp-poop baby cycle just becomes the sleep-eat-burp-stare-at-watch-until-5-pm-poop working man cycle.

What I'm trying to say is that change is inevitable. Law of averages dictates that the years of me living in my tiny, familiar bubble will be followed by a big change. Yup, and that change pop my bubble and kicked me in the ass so hard I was instantly transported to a country with 4 seasons. It may suck but at least it makes life a little more exciting/unpredictable.

PS: I recently serviced my Acer TM 6292. I spilled water on the keyboard and all of its keys stopped working. The replacement keyboard for the model cost Php 1040.00, about 4 times the cost an external USB keyboard.

Opportunities in life

I'm a firm believer of opportunities. If there is one thing that separates the successful "luckies"from the unfortunate losers, its the number of opportunities they have collected. One can argue that hard work or natural talent is the main reason why humans achieve better quality of life. I'm not discounting either of the two; however, compared to once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, both don't come even close.

Opportunities breed opportunities. It is therefore up to us to firmly grasp the small opening of the uncertainty.

This reminds of the speech given by Steve Jobs. He stated that experiences are like dots and that connecting these life experience would produce something glorious.

As "high-IQ'ed" morons, people try to come up with the whole picture without actually going through the series of happiness, fullfilments, disappointments, fiascos and the occassional idiotic ideas. This is the opposite of what life should be.

Commit smart mistakes; take acceptable risks; commit to complexities; say yes. Living is the act of painting and life is the masterpiece. As paint is applied to the canvas, so is life filled with new realization. It would be a tradegy to look back and see a few semi-perfect dots and a couple of baby-drawn lines.

Living life?

a computer chair found at the saddest little corner of the house

What is the difference between a lonely person sitting behind a secluded desk, an affable person touring some of the world's most fascinating cities and a couple of months old baby barely able to keep his eyes open? Is it wrong to assume that the latter is living more than the former?

What then is the measure of living? Is it the amount of money on a bank account, the number of diplomas on the wall, the extend of fame and power, the volume of milk intake or simply the total time spent awake? Is there even a means to quantify life?

Is it not a little easy to say that living is measured not just by a single defining factor but by the grams, meters, seconds, kelvins, amperes, moles and candelas of life? Is it possible that this conundrum has a fairly easy solution?

If, out of nowhere, the question "Have you lived?" was ask; will hesitation with a certain degree of realization be hidden in beneath a vague answer? If one can reply with complete and absolute conviction, without a nanosecond of delay, then is it not an irrefutable evidence that will support living life to the fullest?

PS: Have you tried making a point by just asking questions?

Lightning Inspirations

Inspirations are like lightnings; it hold an insane amount of electricity but dissipates in a matter of microseconds. The moment something cool or extremely foolish comes to mind, I almost always start the job. Some tasks would require less time while others are plain impractical if not impossible.

The most difficult part is keep the energy, the passion to continue pain-in-the-ass undertaking. I am unfortunate to lack the skills in storing the electricity of inspiration, and the thing is there is no guaranteed way to improve on that. It will take a strong will to reach the end of a once interesting piece of work.

And to the lucky few who are able to accumulate excessive amount of inspirations and channel it, get out.

PS.
I was inspired to assemble my first computer. The last 2 desktops I have went puff. Here is my Intel D945GCLF2.

What am I doing?

I have no idea at all. Although it is quite contradictory at all for me to start blogging about something that is probably going nowhere, but this is the beauty of the internet...the anonymity of one's self.

So this is meant as an introduction to my blog. This is my sanctuary and my dump site. A safe haven to store my hidden thoughts, morally gray ideals, moronic realization, weird theories and plan for world domination...or something close to it. So all things that I am embarrassed to say out loud or that the world is not ready to hear (almost all would be because of the former), will be kept hidden here along with my identity.

I'm a critic, an admirer, an analyst, a scientist, a newscaster, a commentator, a know-it-all jackass...and above all, a possible idiot.